A Bali Experience... 10:26:00 PM

april 19 saturday, just got back from a total of 8 hrs long flight from Bali (stopover included). got home @ around 6pm and immediately headed to sleep! Boy i missed my bed and pillows so much! franz and marky were inviting me out to go with them in their repective saturday nite gimiks unfortunately i had to beg off since i badly need to catch up on sleep. zzzz around 8pm!

anyway, it was my 1st Bali trip and yeah it was "nice." too bad i wasnt into the "pictorial mode" during the entire visit for some reasons so im only able to share a few shots from this trip. here u can see the resort where i stayed for 4 nights - Melia Bali Spa and Resorts. great facilities.

Bali...i would say is a heavily publicized destination to tourists. quite noticeable that most of the guests in the resort were about 80% tourists! The beach isnt as great as our very own Boracay though. and yeah Boracay can actually compete with the rest of our asian neighbors' resorts.
the visit to their "kuta market" was not as exciting. little choices of good souvenir shops compared to Chatuchak of Bangkok. i just bought my usual ref magnet for souvenir, Bali starbucks city mug (which i collect), and a few other souvenir pieces for my new home. nothin fancy. but would love to go back next time for pictorial purposes =P

and yeah, its good to be back home, at least for the next few weeks. back to the same old routine of work-gym-home-work-gym-home cycle every single day hehehhe. til my singapore trip in may 5.....

Tell me why??? 10:12:00 PM

for some reasons i have been quite disturbed the past weeks or so when i know i shouldnt be. or should i? currently in Bali, Indonesia (more about this trip in my coming posts) supposed to be enjoying but somehow things just cant go out of my mind.

you might want to help find aswers to these questions?

tell me why some people can just get themselves stuffs when they know they cant afford it / they have more important obligations to fulfill?

tell me why some people can just come into your life (w/o you asking them to), make you feel so liked and wanted, then drop you at a time when you have started liking them already?

tell me why some of us can just like someone when we know in our minds that it wont get us anywhere from the very beginning?

tell me why no matter how hard we want to forget that someone, that someone remains stucked in our head most of the time?

tell me why some people, no matter how good they are, would always fall prey to "wrong" ones?

tell me why some people can find it too easy to ignore / forget the good things done for them?

frustrates me really. tough ones but true. tell me why.....

Memoirs of a broken heart 9:39:00 AM

we all have gone thru our own heartache experiences i believe. im no different. only varies on the intensity and the effect that it had on us. i believe mine made me a better person. thank god. will write more about it in my future blogs. for now allow me to share excerpts from my friendster blog written during the height of my most painful past some 2 yrs ago. these are thoughts, pains, anger, frustration and all that ive felt during those trying times. ive managed to survive. so can anyone who might be goin thru the same scenario. read on.....

A Broken Trust 9:34:00 AM

A BROKEN TRUST

Why do I find it hard to trust you,when your words sometimes maybe true,
You said that cheating was one thing
you would never do,
But you did and you hurt mein the worst way that you could,
I now sit here each and everday,
Wondering what it was that I did,that would make you hurt me this way,
You once were my everything,
until that dreadful day,
the day my heart and soul youso easily tossed away,
So please be patient with me
when I say things that soundso mean,
but explain this one thing to me,If you would...
How can I ever trust you theway that I should?

June 11, 2006 in jerry's talkin...

DUMPED! 9:32:00 AM

DUMPED!

disclaimer: below writing wasnt written out of bitterness or anything (hehehe!). its more like keeping a positive thought (finally!) on some things that happened or are happening in our lives; this is more of sharing my own and other peoples experiences to those who might have gone through similar experiences in their lives. being booted out of a relationship isnt that bad after all. hope u learn a thing or two from this. read on..... =====================================================================================
You thought it was love. The real thing. Perhaps the two of you shared the same feelings, but you don't now, and you've just been dumped. You feel as though you've been dropped into a cold dark hole. Alone. Life is no longer fun. No one can understand your pain. No one. You're wrong.

We've all been there. It's a given of relationships. Not all of them are going to have a fairy tale ending. There will be pain. That's a given, too.

How soon the pain subsides is dependent on each of us. Mourning for a lost love relationship is natural, normal and healthy. Any loss requires a period of grieving. How long and in what manner a person mourns is also dependent upon each of us. Some people appear to move almost effortlessly through a breakup while others take an excrutiatingly long time to get their lives back on track. Length of recovery time is not an indicator of how much we cared.

Wallowing in self-pity and recriminations about the breakup should not become an olympic event. Allow yourself some time to reflect upon the relationship, then stop speculating about what you could have done to keep the relationship together. Some relationships just won't work.
Keeping the eternal flame burning that he or she will return? Depends upon the nature of the breakup and that person's previous history. If phone calls are brief and impersonal or messages not returned, take the hint. Give them space. If they want to get back into your life, they'll make a move. At that point, you will have the option of responding. Perhaps by that time you'll have new interests and won't be interested in renewing the relationship. It could happen.

Saying mean and nasty things about your ex-lover to friends and family is a silly thing to do in addition to being unworthy of you. Should you and he (or she) reconcile at some future date, you'll have discredited yourself badly. Keep your worst thoughts to yourself. You never know when a new and interesting person will be nearby.

Getting dumped allows you a chance to take a fresh look at your life. It gives you a chance to get in touch with your feelings. It provides time for introspection. It teaches about freedom. Are you, for the first time in your life, making decisions without explaining the reasons to anyone? This is a freedom so few people take the time to appreciate.

Is this your first failed relationship or do you have a history of failures? What is different about this one than the last and the one before that? You should be able to draw parallels, see patterns. Does each relationship have the same blueprint? Are your choices setting you up for heartache? If you can see the patterns, you can learn and make changes so that future relationships stand more of a chance of survival.

Don't run headlong into another relationship. It will be too easy to think tender words and soft reassurances are more than what they are meant to be. You're aching for someone to show kindness, validate your worth, give you a hug. Rebound love can occur quickly and be disastrous in the long run. You'll be exchanging one heartache for another, and hurting someone else in the process. Take your time. No matter how difficult it seems. Slow down. Stop. Observe. Not every couple you see is happy to be with each other. While you're envying their couplehood one or the both of them may be envying your single status. There are much worse things than being single. One is being part of an unhappy couple.

Try to avoid those things you did as a couple that will trigger memories. We all have special songs, special places we've visited as a couple. Memories are fine but if they make us particularly sad they should be saved for another time. There will come a time when you can listen to a particular song without getting the blues.

Mourn your lost love. Then move on. It will take time, but the pain will get less and less, and one day it will be gone.

You are not alone.

Everyone gets dumped sometimes =P

March 03, 2007 in jerry's talkin... Permalink Comments (0) TrackBack (0)

Letting Go 9:31:00 AM

LETTING GO
Those words written by Paul Simon are indeed true. There are fifty-hundred ways to leave your lover, ah but the catch is that there is no easy way to do so. It is an emotionally wrenching and physically taxing experience to break up with someone that you have been physically intimate and emotionally bonded with. There are no Hallmark cards that you can send to your lover informing him/her that it's over.

The best way to leave your partner is by making a clean break of it. Sit down with him/her and calmly and tenderly state your case. Outline all the reasons why you feel that the magic is over. The truth is that there is nothing logical or rational about love. Your partner may not agree with the logic of your arguments, but he/she will no doubt sense that indeed the twinkle of love no longer sparkles in your eyes. He/She may not immediately agree that it's time to end the relationship, but the truth will soon sink in.

The best time to leave your lover is right now. If you are certain that it's time for the relationship to end; do not procrastinate. End it now especially if you are in an abusive relationship. Bullies who emotionally abuse their partners and take advantage of them in whatever way possible rarely, if ever, change their destructive behavior. An abusive person does not deserve one more chance. The same principle applies to those that are unfaithful. A leopard will sooner change his spots than a cheat will change his ways. A relationship is built on trust and faith. Once that foundation has been shattered, it's over.

Don't wait until your lover screws up again before you break up. You need to be calm and reasonable when you tell your partner that it's over. You don't want to be in a fit of rage when you break up or else you will probably spew out hateful words that you will later regret. most of all, NEVER EVER LIE. remember, its the last formal break up converstion you will have with someone once special in your life. come clean, at least for the last time. its better to get hurt NOW knowing whats actually happening than get hurt eventually realizing that the entire relationship was just built up on lies and deceit.

Once you have broken up with your partner, don't join a monastery and vow never to date again, but by the same token don't be in a hurry to replace the person you just dumped or who has dumped you or you might end up with another jerk.

It's never easy letting go and saying good-bye but unless you let go of that weight that is holding you down you will never be able to grab a hold of the lover who truly loves you. I hope that my essay will embolden you to finally let go so you will be free to accept the love of the person who respects and loves you with all of his heart; and not with some jerk who just sticks with you for his own selfish benefits; maybe, just maybe, finally with someone who will accept you amidst your imperfections. it can happen. in HIS own time =)

November 16, 2007 in jerry's talkin... Permalink Comments (0) TrackBack (0)

Power of Forgiveness 9:30:00 AM

Power of Forgiveness

do you do when somebody hurts you? Do you want to hurt him back or do you hold it against that person for the rest of your life? If you answer yes to these questions, know that you are like most people. To forgive is something that people generally have difficulty with.

Why don't people forgive readily? Here's why, because it is easier to hate than to forgive. Some people think to forgive is a sign of weakness, but let me tell you, it is not. To forgive takes courage and extra effort.

What is forgiveness? It is a gift from a generous heart. Forgiveness is not a reward. It is not something that you give to someone based on his good behavior. It is something that you give to a person irrespective of whether he has deserved it or not. Forgiveness is also not based on whether the person has asked for forgiveness.

Also know this. Forgiveness is not an event, which starts and concludes when you say the words, "I forgive you". Forgiveness is an act and a process, which often takes time. The deeper your hurt the longer it usually takes to completely forgive. It is an act because it is not just the words you say but it is your actions which will show if you've really forgiven.

Why is it necessary to forgive? Forgiveness releases you from the burden of bitterness and hate. It takes enormous energy to hate and to keep that hate in place. Forgiveness brings freedom whereas revenge is neither sweet nor gratifying, its just a hollow feeling.

Hate puts unnecessary stress on your body. It is a well-known fact, proven by numerous studies, that bitterness and hate can actually make you sick. A great number of people in the world don't really belong in a hospital, because the root of their problem is not physical but is mental. The moment they forgive and let go of their hate they will start to get well.

There is another reason why you need to forgive. If you don't forgive you actually prevent blessings from flowing to you. The Bible says that before you pray for anything first forgive those who wronged you, and then your Father in heaven will forgive you your own wrongs. So there you can see that blessings are closely connected to your forgiving others.

Here's the key. If after you've "forgiven" that person you still experience a negative sting whenever you think of him or her, it means you still have work to do. If however you don't have negative feelings towards that person it means you are free.

Are things not working out in your life, despite you doing all the "right" things? Is it possible that you have unforgiveness in your heart? It is certainly something to think about!

Everything happens for a reason 9:29:00 AM

EVERYTHiN' HAPPENS F0R A REAS0N..

WHEN you think of you past love, You may view it as a FAiLURE,
But when you find a new L0VE, You view the past as a TEACHER.
In the GAME of love, It doesn’t really matter who won or who lost.
What is IMPORTANT is that you know when to HOLD ON and when to LET GO.
You know you really L0VE someone when you want them to be HAPPY....
Even if their HAPPINESS means that you’re not part of it.
Everything ENDS for the BEST.
If the person you love D0ESN'T love you back, DON'T BE AFRAID to love someone else again...for you’ll never know unless you give it a try.
You’ll never learn to love a person unless you RISK for love...
Love STRIVES in hurting.
If you don’t get HURT, you don’t LEARN how to love unconditionally.
Love DOESN'T hurt all the time....
Though the HURT is still inevitable to TEST you and HELP you grow.
D0N'T find love, LET love find you.
That’s why it’s called falling in love because.. You don’t force yourself to FALL in LOVE.... you just FALL...
You can’t finish a book without closing it’s chapters.

Learning from goodbyes... 9:27:00 AM

“learning from goodbyes”

After a while you learn the subtle differences between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead
with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure,that you really are strong,and you really do have worth.
And you live and you learn,with every goodbye you learn .......

On to the next chapter... 9:26:00 AM

22 feb 06
11:08PM
On to the next chapter.......

forgive my bitchiness lately, will u ? im hurting...yes i am.....and how deep it is......the wound seems to be gettin more painful each day..no matter how i try to conceal it......the pain of not knowing the things i shoudve known early on.....the pain of knowing i have given so much of myself for nothin... the pain of realizing the dreams i've started to build come crushing right before my very eyes.....
nothin can be more painful than the thought of people wanting you for some other reasons.....but no...im more than what u think i can just offer....
we often hear people say.."never give too much of urself when u love someone..".....but isnt that true love working when you can totally surrender yourself to someone whom u claim to love? im confused....
but what happens when you give too much of urself to someone whom you thought loves you but eventually dumps the relationship for some 'shitty' reasons? or worse, for someone else? life (and love) , indeed, has no guarantees...
so u want my friendship? got lots to share if you only have the fundamentals - honesty and trust. if u dont, then theres nothin more to talk about. dont ask for somethin when u dont have anythin to give in the first place...
reality is starting to sink in....im hurtin ..yes i am...truth indeed hurts at times...and all i need is your understanding for now....allow me to feel the pain and suffer in silence......
movin on seems to be taking longer than i expected...but i am movin...the pace may be slow for now...but i know im getting there....slowly...
as i turn a new leaf in my life, i continue to cling on to the hope of a better me once all this is over and done...
a better me, a tougher, stronger soul to conquer the next battles i have yet to face in this so called life. but i swear to high heavens....i will never allow anyone to take advantage of me again...never again jerry......never......

Love will set us free 9:22:00 AM

LOVE WILL SET US FREE....

Barriers are made to be broken/
And love is a destiny to unfold/
But what if the journey to forevers/
Laden with hindrance, we started to let go/
Youre the one who inspired me/
Show me how life is beautiful/
But yet everything feels so empty/
Youre too far, too perverse to reach on/
Even God would not honor this/
It is sinful to fall in love with you/
If only people would realize and understand/
My love for you is more than my life/
I love you but then we have no choice/
Only in our dreams our love will flow/
More than star-crossed sweethearts
Our situation is left in the dark/
Let the memories last forever/
And all the heartaches vanishes to the sea/
As the wind blows and time runs faster/
Let the rainfall fade our everything
Our eyes will faithfully be the same/
The looks will always last forever/
Somehow, I know, as I will always be/
Hope will see us through, love will set us free/

Time to say goodbye 9:14:00 AM

feb 27, 2006
1105pm
“time to say goodbye”
should we stay or should we say goodbye?
should we walk away or give it one more try?
what a waste to let our dreams just fly and as the years go by , we'll always wonder why?
are we glad to find ourselves finally free?
is this what we really want to be?
independent lives we need to have so much; it really is quite tough when love is not enough.......
tell me why did we find each other, only to part ways in the end? tell me why we learned to love each other and tell me why 2 people have to change?
was it pride that made us drift away? hurting deeds we should not have even done......
hold my hands and look straight in my eyes, if you cant tell the truth then its time to say goodbye.......